Monday, January 28, 2013

You Might Be a Teacher If...

 I saw this list on facebook and since I found myself nodding vigorously after each one, I decided I had to share. And of course give you my commentary.
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy
1.You get a secret thrill out of laminating things. So true. Laminating = I can use this again for countless years. I don't hang things in my room unless they're laminated. 

2.You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. Yes. Or hear some commotion at nap time and know exactly which child it is and what toy they are trying to play with.

3.You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted. This is when I turn on my selective hearing (the kids do it..why can't I?) and turn the other way. Just kidding. Kind of.

4.You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another. My students are 2-3. This happens. A lot.

5.You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes. Yep.

6.You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period. I don't have a planning period. So it's once during my lunch break, and whenever I get home that night.

7.You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom. Another one especially true for preschool. I have a stash of coffee filters, bubble wrap, paper tubes, etc. You never know.

8.You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine. At least a soda machine. Let's be real.

9.You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”. I do not get the pleasure of a 7-3 work day or summers off. But thanks to my previous teaching experiences and being married to a teacher, I know anyone who says this deserves the slap.


10.You believe chocolate is a food group. I guess I'm not really sure what this has to do with being a teacher. But yes I do.

11.You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. I didn't believe this when I was going through school. I understand now.

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.” Don't you dare jinx it.

13.You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public. This. Is. So. True.

14.You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin. ...

15.You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. Are they working on this?

16.You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children. I don't have children. But both Justin and I are guilty of investing more in our classrooms than in our home.

17.You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items! You can never have too many stickers, books, coloring pages, or educational posters.

18. You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.” I am actually guilty of pulling this on J. And all of my friends. If I had a nickel for every time I said this in a day...

19.You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils. In my age group, sharpened pencils are too dangerous. But this can easily be applied to fresh, capped markers or a new box of crayons.

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. This is not a secret. I got two bottles of microban, and a hodgepodge of other germ-x related products for Christmas from assorted family members.

21.You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents. Well...yeah.
And there you go. Teacher friends, I know you hear me. Non-teacher friends, welcome to my life.
xo Steph

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