Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Jethro Takes on the Blog

Hi. My name's Jethro. My mom claims I'm named after the band, Jethro Tull. But my dad insists my name came from some man, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, from a show called NCIS

Dad watches this show all the freaking time and one thing I've learned from this guy is that he has all kinds of rules. Never be unreachable. Don't believe what you're told; double check. When the job is done, walk away. Work as a team. And so many more. Mom and I really don't get the attraction to this show, but if this guy's rules got him to television's #1 drama he must be on to something. Here are mine. 

Jethro's Rules
#1 If someone is going up the stairs, run like a bat out of hell to beat them. 

#2 If someone is coming down the stairs, hide under the table and scare the crap out of them when they hit the bottom. 

#3 Breakfast time is non-negotiable. If the foodkeepers aren't awake, climb into their bed and lick their sleepy faces until they realize what time it is. 

#4 Elliminate distractions. Mom and dad have these typing machines on their laps all the time, which makes it pretty hard for them to pay attention to me. Sitting in the middle of the keyboard usually works. 

#5 Don't let them forget which side of the bed is yours. You have the right to 1/3 of that bed. Push with all four paws if you have to. 

#6 Keep a safe distance from visitors. Sometimes the dog owners come. Mom and dad really like them, and so do I. But just in case they bring the dog, I perch myself on windowsills, bar stools, and shelves and keep an eye on them. 

#7 Hog the warmth. Sit in front of the heater, lay in the only spot of sunshine, sunshine, sleep on mom's feet.

#8 Keep them on their toes. Stare at the walls like there's something inside them, dart out of the room and run aimlessly to another, knock things off tables when they're not looking. 

#9 Follow them everywhere. Stay under their feet wherever they walk. Sit on the edge of the tub while they shower. Climb on the dresser and stare at them while they're in bed. Crawl into every room, drawer, and closet they open. Just remember to get out before they shut the door. 

#10 Everything in the house is your plaything. Bobby pins, Christmas ornaments, mom's hair, dad's shoelaces, pens, furniture, and especially all of that yarn in the living room. 

That's all of the wisdom I can impart to you today. Mom will be back next time with her regularly scheduled programming. 
Xo Jethro