Friday, December 30, 2016

The Last One in 2016

Hi! I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing holiday filled with fun, family, and good cheer. 

Friday we left to visit my parents for a few days, so I spent Thursday baking, baking, and baking so that I had something to contribute to the family parties we would be attending. I made these cutout cookies, these peanut butter blossoms (which are a favorite in my family) (they're my favorite too), and these ginger cookies which were new to me but you guys they were so delicious. 

I got lots of knitting done in the car on my hat. This is a great pattern for traveling because 1) it's adorable and I love this yarn, 2) it's small and fit in my purse, and 3) it's mindless...I'm able to work on it while holding a conversation or watching tv without having to pay too much attention to it. Also on the subject of knitting, I joined in the Christmas Eve Cast On, which is just a group of knitters who cast on a pair of socks on Christmas Eve after the craziness of gift knitting and deadlines. After a fun-filled family day I sat down with my yarn after everyone else went to sleep and cast on a pair of socks for my little guy by the light of the Christmas tree. 

Christmas Eve we spent the day with my mom's family playing games, and hanging out and went to church together in the evening. After church we always exchange gifts with my parents. Christmas day we spend with my dad's family opening gifts and spending time together and by evening are all ready to crash. Both days far too much food was consumed, much laughter was shared, and it was great to see family that I don't get to see nearly often enough. 

As if this wasn't enough celebrating, my wonderful family threw us a baby shower. It was quiet and perfect and our little one is already so incredibly blessed. Wednesday morning we packed up our car (which was full to the top) and headed home. 

Tomorrow we will spend the night at home with a couple of friends reflecting on the ups and downs of this past year and welcoming in 2017. Whatever your plans are, I hope you have a great New Year!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Sunday Currently

A lovely shot from our Friendsgiving ugly-sweater party last week. Justin is clearly thrilled.

baby: We're officially in the third trimester...holy crap, how did that happen already?! In the last week or so it's like a switch has flipped; I've finally gone from constant worry to feeling entirely content and connected. We had an ultrasound last week and I actually teared up seeing the boy in 3D. He's been on the move quite a bit, and occasionally giving me a jab to the bladder that makes me worry for a hot second that I'm about to pee my pants.

Accomplished. We were supposed to have Christmas service rehearsal at church with the kids this morning, but because of the snow I got a lovely text this morning that it would be cancelled. So instead of laying in bed, I wrapped up in my cozy robe and slippers and headed downstairs. I just finished up all of the dishes, swept the kitchen, and folded a load of laundry. Then I corrected, entered grades, and planned my lessons for this week. 

watching: Knitting podcasts. Specifically Legacy Knitz (my favorite) at the moment. If you're at all interested in watching/hearing people talk about their current yarny projects and showing off their squishy yarns, I highly recommend checking out this podcast. 

drinking: Water, water, water. And I just finished some hot chocolate from a holiday mug, obvs. 

smelling: The chicken and dumpling soup that Justin is preparing in the slow cooker in the kitchen. Yummmmmmm.

wearing: Remember the cozy robe and slippers I mentioned above? Still that. Honestly, it might be that all day. 

working on: Several things, actually. Something for a friend who is having a baby soon (that is so close to finished!), this little Hobbes doll, and a new project I just cast on last night: this sockhead hat for myself. If I'm being completely honest, all of my projects are the real reason I was so productive this morning. I figured if I could get those big things done and out of the way I could spend the rest of the day on the couch, yarn in hand, and not feel so guilty about it. 

That's what's going on with me. I'm off to spend the rest of the day with my yarn and watching the snow out the window.  

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Weird Stuff and Awkward Things: The Pregnancy Conversation Edition

I had a completely different post planned for this, but a comment made to me recently sparked this idea. Apparently when someone finds out you are pregnant all boundaries and filters go out the window. Here are some conversations that had me like:

"Was it planned?" I have been asked this a lot. Why do people need to know this?

"When did that happen?" So, to be clear, you're asking me when my child was conceived...?

(Scene: One afternoon I drove Justin's grandma to a doctor appointment. Leaving the office, we saw a couple with a very tiny very new baby. Grandma couldn't resist talking to them.) "How cute! She must be brand new...this one is brand new too" (and then proceeded to pat my stomach) I was only like 12 weeks at the time and I'm positive this poor couple felt as awkward as I did.

"You're having a boy? Did you want a boy?"  Just...what?

"Are you sure there's only one in there?" And along those same lines: "You're really starting to pop out"/"You're getting pretty big" Stop. Just stop. 

"I can tell your nausea must be gone. I've never seen you eat this much" If I could tear myself away from this plate of spaghetti, I would come across the table at you. Once the period of nausea passed, my appetite came back with a vengeance. Don't judge me.

"It really sucks that you can't have ..." I think the tiny human that I'm growing is worth not having a drink or a mountain dew for a while. But thanks for bringing it up. :)

"Can you tell there's a baby inside you?"  Should we talk about nausea, exhaustion, sore boobs, or the fact that I haven't had a period in a few months? Yep, I'm aware there's a baby. 

And finally this gem from my brother-in-law  "I'm gonna teach that kid how to live. You should name him Prince. Prince Hellyeah." 


Stuff, Things, etc.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Some Stuff, Some Things

Wednesday: 1 Steph: 0

There is a mouse in our house. Tuesday night Jethro was patrolling the kitchen and watching behind the stove for a while and I thought something was up. So naturally I shut myself upstairs and texted Justin to check out the situation when he got home. He verified that yes, he did see a mouse, but Jethro chased it to the basement before he could catch it. So he set up some little (humane) traps and as far as we know it's still at large.

It started storming in the middle of the night last night. Between getting up to pee and being woken up by thunder, not much sleep was had. Around 4:30 a huge flash of lightning woke me up, and I realized that Justin wasn't in bed so of course I couldn't go back to sleep. (He had gone downstairs to shut a window that was left open and check the water situation in the basement) I finally fell asleep again around 5:30...and then my alarm went off at 5:45.

What kind of sick joke is it to pair insomnia with not being able to have caffeine?! All day I wished that I was nestled all snug in my bed, while visions of Mountain Dew danced in my head. Obviously keeping baby healthy is more important than my caffeine fix, but lemmejusttellya. It was rough. 

On this week's episode of "What Madt the Pregnant Lady Cry", we have the song Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue by Toby Keith. What in the actual eff? I hadn't heard that song in years but a few days ago it came on while I was in the car and I was overcome with American pride pregnancy hormones and got all choked up.

I need some new show recommendations if you've got them. I'm cycling through Gilmore Girls again and while I'm okay with the fact that my baby will probably come out singing "Where you lead, I will follow...", I'm ready for something different.

It has been raining on and off all day and is supposed to storm through the night and all day tomorrow. If you need me I'll be curled up on the couch under a pile of blankets watching the Emmys on Hulu hiding from the mouse and mourning the days when I was able to sleep through the night.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

So This is Happening...

Is it even worth it to mention that I planned on blogging more frequently this summer? Maybe not.

Being pregnant following a loss is a very interesting thing. While I am filled with excitement, joy, and thanks I can't help but feel the nerves, fear, and anxiety of 'what-ifs'. It also breaks my heart that our baby in heaven will not get to know this little one, and the other way around.

But here we are, almost through the thirteenth week. I had a fun few weeks of vomiting if I didn't eat at regular intervals and hungry = nauseated. Then I would try eating and food repulsed me. I seem to be easing out of that (see: hungry all the time), but I still need to be kept away from all of the grilled chicken or I will gag.

There have been lots of irrational tears brought on by hormones. Example: A few days ago we had friends over and I was putting together a nacho bar for dinner. I made the taco meat ahead of time and was going to heat it up in the crock pot. I took the pot out of the crock pot to wipe it off, set it on the table, and poured all of the taco meat into the well of the crock pot. Then there were tears. This is also an example of pregnancy brain.
While I was on my summer schedule I took full advantage of comfy clothes all day long. I finally bit the bullet and bought some maternity pants for teaching because pants with buttons are torture right now.

Naps are another thing I enjoyed over the summer. I've never been much of a nap person but this is a whole new kind of tired. Now add in school and take my naps away? It's been rough. I have been told that my energy would come back sometime during the second trimester. I'm ready for that step now, please.

Now, please excuse me while I go inhale the pizza and brownies that Justin ordered for dinner.

Friday, June 17, 2016

27 Thank You's

Today I turn 27 years old. There have been a lot of people and things that have shaped me into who I am today and been tremendous blessings in my life, so before I go start celebrating (read: scrambling to get my house clean before my friends come over for dinner) (read: an evening of food and board games with the best)(read: the perfect Friday night), I thought I'd jot down 27 thank-you's (the order of these things means nothing...I am equally thankful to all).

1. Mom-Thank you for birthing me. Thank you for being a wonderful role model and friend. And for teaching me how to make your amazing lasagna.

2. Dad-Thank you for giving me your sense of humor and smart assed-ness. When mom snarks "You sound just like your dad", it is a compliment of the highest order. Thank you also for sharing your love of good music and random trivia.

3. Jethro-Thank you for waking me up in the middle of the night knocking things off the dresser. Thank you for meowing relentlessly until one of us lets you out on the porch. Thank you for alerting us to, but never actually catching, all of the bats and mice.

4. Neutrogena Tinted Moisturizer-Thank you for making my face look presentable with as little effort as possible. And also for providing me with sun protection and mild coverage without feeling like I have a pound of makeup on my face.
 5. Netflix-Thank you for providing me with hours of distraction and procrastination. And for The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

6. Grandma-Thank you for being the strongest woman I have ever known and being a wonderful Christian example.

7. Car-Thank you for being so trustworthy for so long. Whenever people ask if you're still running, I proudly confirm that yes, you are doing fine and I will drive you until you will absolutely not drive anymore. 

8. Yoga Pants-Thank you for providing me with endless comfort and relief from the judging waist bands of tight jeans. Please also pass along my thanks to flip-flops and sports bras. 

9. Michael Scott-Thank you for teaching me that sometimes it's okay to not know exactly what you're doing.
Michael Scott18

10. Tiffany-Thank you for being the type of friend that no matter how far apart we live or how rarely we see each other, it's like no time has passed. Thank you also for hours spent at Barnes & Noble, shopping trips, and movie nights.

11. Florida-Thank you for being a fun place to live for a year, but reaffirming for me that I am a midwestern girl and enjoy seasons too much to ever want to live in sweltering heat again.

12. Piano-Thank you for being my favorite thing that I own. I love spending hours sitting with you and making music.

13. My first PreK students-Thank you for being the greatest class ever and showing me that even though I always thought I wanted to teach kids much older than preschool, I was wrong.

14. Grapefruit La Croix-Thank you for being there for me when I am craving a soda. Thank you also for not making me feel guilty when I drink several cans of you in a day.

15. Ceiling Fans-Thank you for providing some respite from the suffocating humidity that plagues our AC-free house.

16. Emily-Thank you for being my person. Someone I can talk to about anything, go shopping and not buy anything with, and plan our dream of opening a bakery, and just hang out.

17. Buzzfeed-Thank you for hours of entertainment in the form of mindless articles and quizzes that make no sense.

18. Purple Fleece Jacket-Thank you for being my winter wardrobe. You always kept me warm and cozy even though you covered up all of the cute sweaters I tried to wear, and no one ever got to see them.

19. House-Thank you for all of your little old-house quirks. Your creaky floors and crooked doors are charming and you are the perfect first home for us.

20. Mat Kearney-Thank you for music that fits what ever mood I happen to be in. For being my go-to music for the last several years and the c.d (Do people still use c.d's? I do...) that's always in my car.

21. Crocheting (and knitting)-Thank you for being the best hobby(hobbies) there is(are). For making me feel frustrated and accomplished all at the same time, and for giving me something to do on long boring car rides.

23. Birthday-versary Cheesecake-Thank you for being a delicious celebratory dessert commemorating our anniversary and my birthday.

24. Scarves-Thank you for giving me the appearance that I am fashionable even though I am absolutely not, and for being the most comfortable accessory there is. I choose you over necklaces any day.

25. Brita Pitcher-Thank you for making our water taste clean and delicious. Thank you for making cold fresh water readily available to me at all times....when I remember to fill you. 

26. Jesse-Thank you for making me a mom. I'm so sorry I never got to see you or hold you, but I'm thankful that you never knew pain or cold or fear, and that the first place you saw was heaven.

27. Justin-I have so many things to thank you for I don't know where to begin. Thank you for putting up with me all this time. For your patience, kindness and love. For always making me laugh, always supporting me, and being there for me. Thank you for making up your own song lyrics when you don't know the words, for always being the one to empty the litter box, and reaching things on the top shelves of the cupboards for me. Thank you for everything.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016


I saw someone post this on their blog today, and I'm at a loss for what to write about we are. 

A- Age: 26 right now, 27 on FRIDAY! 

B- Biggest fear: Deep water. And since my miscarriage so many fears about not being able to have children or having major complications having children.

C- Current time: 9:30 p.m.

D- Drink you last had: Right now I'm drinking water. Before that Grapefruit La Croix (a.k.a YUM). 

E- Every day starts with: Currently scanning my phone and then a walk. During the school year rolling out of bed at the last possible minute and getting ready as quickly as possible to make it out of the house on time.

F- Favorite song: 

G- Ghosts, are they real?: I don't think so. Does that stop me from being scared of ghost stories and movies? Of course not. 

H- Hometown: Somewhere in Michigan that you've probably never heard of. 

I- In love with: This guy.

J- Jealous of: Anyone with the ability to rap.

K- Killed someone?: Do people really answer 'yes' to this? No. 

L- Last time you cried?: Memorial Day weekend at my friend's beautiful wedding! 

M- Middle name: Marie

N- Number of siblings: Zero. 

O- One wish: That my family and friends didn't live so far away from me. 

P-Last person you called: Tiffany

Q- Question you're always asked: At school: "Can I go potty?" At home: "Where are the nail clippers?"

R- Reason to smile: This picture of Jethro.

S- Song last sang: "Well I won't back down. No, I won't back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down"

T- Time you woke up: 8:00

U- Underwear color: Currently blue.

V- Vacation destination: One day I will go to Ireland.

W- Worst habit: Leaving my nail polish on long after it has chipped. 

X- X-Ray's you've had: Teeth and ankle.

Y- Your favorite food: Potatoes. In mashed or french fry form, please.

Z- Zodiac sign: Gemini

Thursday, May 26, 2016


Well, hello. It's sure been a while. Some things have happened.

I made the switch from iPhone to Android. Very exciting, I know.

I'm watching Gilmore Girls...again. I'm still firmly planted on the side of Team Logan and can't wait to see what this revival brings.

Oh. And I'm going through a career change. The school where I teach is a small, two-room school. Long story short, the decision was made to add a part-time teacher who would teach only preschool, and divide the other grades between the two full-time teachers. So I put my name in to be considered for the part-time preschool position.

A variety of different things have influenced this decision. First of all, I like teaching preschool. When I was in college, teaching preschool was not something I pictured myself doing at all. But since I graduated five years ago that's what I've been doing, and I have grown to love it. This past year though, I have taught Kindergarten and a handful of 1st and 2nd grade classes along with preschool and it has just been a lot.

Which leads me to another factor; when it was decided that we would add on a part-time preschool teacher, it meant that the other classrooms would be split into a Kindergarten-3rd grade room and a 4th-7th room. I would have been the Kindergarten-3rd teacher, and I just don't think that's where my gifts are.

And of course, the thing that has been weighing on my mind every single day since June 19, 2015: I just want to be a mom. From the second I found out I was pregnant with Jesse, I knew that I wanted to stay home with him if at all possible. I was prepared to find some sort of part-time job if necessary, but I was going to be done teaching.

But then things changed. My baby was gone and this huge step that I was ready to take was no longer there. I cried all the way to church on the morning of our Welcome Back Brunch. I love my students, and families, and faculty. But being at school this year when what I desperately wanted was to be home raising my baby was just too hard.

Maybe these reasons don't make sense. Maybe they're selfish and maybe they're silly. But they're mine. And once 12:00 hits next Friday, I will be a part-time preschool teacher. Maybe I will be something else too. I'm still figuring out what I will do in the afternoons. I'm still figuring out a lot of things.

I thought that by now, approaching 27 years old, I would have it all figured out. I do not. And maybe that's okay. Because even though I may not know what's going to happen next, God does.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11